through opening doors

into the silence, the darkness

where I have gone 

to listen deeply

I hear
...here where I live 

roosters

and bells
not just ticking away the hours

but ringing for a reason
special moments special days

7...12...6...on weekdays

7...10...11...12...on Sunday

like in the movies

or the 'chef boyardee' commercial I remember from my childhood...
bells summon 
summon lunch time

summon morning

summon mass times

summon me

after my own day like Peter's mother in law

of being sick

wallowing away a whole day in bed

(ahhh...but in italy)

He comes 

to me 
in this the most intimate place of my life

into the darkness where I am 
alone
sick
in the darkness 
in bed...

someone who loves me

must have told Him I am here

He has not come to where I am to force me out or to evict me

while I'm at my weakest, unable to fight

He has come to heal me and asks me to rise up 

He takes my hand...
He touches me who have sinned

His hand reaches out gently and kindly as if I had forgotten somehow how to get up out of bed

I've never needed a hand before to get out of bed

but I take it

and I discover how much easier it is

and I cling to His hand like never before

because I had made my bed where He found me lying

and He knew well all of it

even before He was told

and yet He came anyway, into me, and raised me back to my life

a hand reaching out

a voice saying rise

and I see... He is here

and I hear "I am here..."

and in the darkness there are others

others have come near and are here

 

and maybe just maybe I can hold on to His strong gentle hand

or maybe just maybe He will hold on to my little one
and my life will be as it should be

serving

just serving...

but serving Him 

my duty and my salvation
loving Him

Him... who loves me

I will do what only He created for me to do

and today that is getting up

and the sheets from the sick bed

blow clean in the sun
with the mountain rising and the bell tower summoning