first silence

into the darkness

after a long eerie wait 
at the gate

there should have been 
the hustle of people

instead a terminal alone

maybe 9 
board the prop plane that begins 
our journey far away

engines and the propeller 
outside my window

create a deafening silence

unable to hear a thing

the flight attendant in French gives his 
'in case of emergency' instructions 

the first of many languages I will not comprehend

lips move unable to hear or understand

in the constant roar of the propellers' whirl

I enter my own personal silence

this time I have prepared for and await

the first silence...

but my mind speaks

and my heart begins to cry 

my eyes close
attempting to hold the tears

I wake an hour later

over an expansive darkness...

a body of water?!?!?

and then the flickering of lights over a huge city

as we approach our first destination 
Toronto, Canada

and I think 
of the heavenly city...

known but unknown

...existing 
somewhere

I have not yet been...

The Carmelite Rule and a Carmelite’s way of life emphasize silence – but it is my voice, not the voice of others, that must be stilled. Dutch Carmelite Kees Waaijman talks about silence as the work of justice, a prophetic work, because by silencing ourselves we make a space to encounter the Other. This is true for how we pray – when the Other is God. And it is also true for how we interact with one another and the world that surrounds us. We come to silence in order to hear! Otherwise silence has no value. Good silence is made for encounter and relationship. It needs to let the Other speak. The goal is not to separate yourself from the world of noise but instead to learn how to engage that world in a more focused way, with profound listening. Don’t attempt the impossible – to eliminate all the noise outside you. Just learn how to quiet your inner being.